My wife and I recently returned from Couples Sans Souci resort. This was our second trip to SS, we’d been there on our honeymoon 11 years ago when it was owned by Super Clubs. We returned to SS because of the great memories we had of how fantastic the resort was. While it’s still a nice place, I would offer one bit of advice: if you’ve had a terrific experience on your honeymoon don’t go back to the same resort. I say this because when we were married my wife and I had very little experience in going to resorts, enjoying fine dining and staying in five star hotels. Since our honeymoon we have had those experiences, and it colored our view and expectations when we returned to SS. For those of you who don’t want to read the review and the tips/hints, I think any review can be summed up by the answer to the question “Would you go there again?” My response would be a conditional “yes”, only if I found a really, really, REALLY good bargain price.
SS is classed as a “5 star” resort. This means “5 star” in Jamaica. On the 2-2 ½ hour bus ride from the airport you’ll see three levels of dwellings. First and fewer are the big homes of a few wealthy foreigners (our bus driver liked to point them out and never mentioned one actually owned by a native). Second, and spotted a little more often, are the brightly painted cinderblock / concrete homes of the Jamaican upper/middle class – all with decorative wrought iron bars on every window and door, some hidden behind walls or fences. Last, and by far the majority, are the smaller houses or shacks of the rest of the population – with no obvious need for windows, doors or any type of security system. So in the context of the dwellings you see from the main highway, I would give SS their five stars. Keep that airport transfer in mind if you are recalling your suite at the Ritz-Carlton.
SS has changed ownership in the past several years. Prior to Couples it was owned by the big tobacco/cigarette firm on the island. In speaking with the staff, it seems the transition to Couples did not benefit either staff or customers. Many amenities for the guests were taken away, and the staff compensation was cut. It was apparent that certain cost “efficiencies” have been implemented. For example, the wine served in the top restaurant on the resort, Casanova, was some of the cheapest I’ve seen in a restaurant. You can order other wines from the wine list, but I would not recommend it. They are mostly pedestrian wines which are waaaay overpriced (you do pay extra for them, they are not included). Also, there is a deposit on beach towels, so make sure on your last day you don’t leave the towels on the beach and make sure you get a receipt from the Water Sports desk to show you returned them when you check out. As your beach towels get dirty you have to take them over to the Water Sports building to get fresh towels – a minor inconvenience that is escalated to “pain in the [---]” status because there is often a lack of fresh towels. Now, I am aware of “Jamaican time” and the easy, relaxed nature of the island and its people, but being told “Towels will be here in 20 minutes”, then “Not here yet, maybe in 20 minutes”, then half an hour later “Towels came, but now we’re all out” is not what you want to experience when holding wet, sandy beach towels. Really, would it be too much trouble to buy some more cheap cotton towels?
OK, since I’ve already started down that road, here were some of our complaints:
- No hot water. Actually, we had “Jamaican” hot water. Sometimes it came on, sometimes it just ran cold. We called maintenance, and after tracking muddy shoes into the bathroom the engineer’s solution was “let it run 20-30 minutes, maybe it will get hot.” I made him stand in the bathroom, the shower and both sinks running, to show him that solution had been tried and failed. After 15 minutes he put his hand under the tap and said “it’s getting hot”. True, it was no longer cold, but forty minutes of running water just to get to lukewarm seemed ridiculous. Our solution: we let the hot water run continuously when we were in our room, checking it every 20 minutes. If it was hot, we’d take a shower; if it was cold I’d take another trip to the bar.
- The one reason we came to SS was because it is all inclusive, no tipping. Our first time 11 years ago I didn’t really understand the concept and offered to tip our bellman. He said “No, no, mon, I can’t. You enjoy your stay.” This time was a little different. The bellman was lingering, showing us where bathroom was, commenting on how heavy our bags were, pointing out the spot on his leg where the bag had hit him. As he stood by the door, not leaving, my wife looked at me with a question, and I decided to see if it was possible. I offered the bellman $5 and he took it. I was shocked. When we paid for this trip we knew we’d be tipping people every time we turned around on the island – Jamaicans are not shy about letting you know you should tip them, even if all they did was to remind you that you should tip – but when we got to the resort I thought that nonsense was over. I complained to the Front Desk manager, but did not give her the bellman’s name to spare him from getting dismissed. Nonetheless, having this happen on the first day really set a bad tone for the whole vacation, and pointed out one thing I and other repeat visitors have noticed about SS: the quality of service has slipped.
- On our first visit to SS we laid on the beach and had attentive staff always come by to ask if we needed a drink or a snack. This visit, I counted only 2 times total that someone came to us when we were on the beach to offer to get us a drink.
- Lack of good fruit. This is a tropical island, why would we be subjected to anemic honeydew, pineapple and cantaloupe? There was some papaya, mangos were not in season when we were there, but where was the breadfruit and other island fruits? The fruits were much better on our first visit. Also, I’ll share one anecdote about vegetables. When at the upscale Italian restaurant, Casanova, one night for dinner I ordered a spinach salad that was on the menu. I was brought a salad with iceberg lettuce. Thinking it was just a mistake, I asked the waitress to take it back. She said “That is spinach.” I pulled a leaf out and said “No, spinach is dark green. These leaves are pale green and white, and some are hard. This is not spinach.” She took the salad, came back and said, “We’re out of spinach tonight.” Two subsequent nights dining at Casanova I asked “Do you have the spinach salad?” I was told yes, and both times I was brought iceberg lettuce. On this basis alone I would say that the term “fine dining” should be amended to “Jamaican fine dining”.
- Also, one night we dined indoors at Casanova. My wife was dressed up and looked very elegant – we both like the idea of getting dressed up for dinner now and then. I was told when I made the reservation that jackets were required inside the restaurant, and the resort would loan me one if needed. Commendable, but I’d already brought a jacket to wear to dinner, and I expected others would as well. I was disappointed to see that the dress code was not enforced, and that most of the men dined without a jacket, some of them in short sleeves and sandals. My wife and I agreed it would be nice if SS had one restaurant where they had an elegant atmosphere that they enforced, even if they don’t know what spinach is.
- SS was undergoing a beach renovation on our visit. The sand on the beach is normally fine, which I really like, but SS was trucking in some rough gravelly sand and spreading it out all over. Because it wasn’t naturally placed there, was obviously not sea/beach sand and hadn’t been compacted, the sand had a tendency to feel like gravelly mud. It was dirty and hard, worse than many beaches you’d find on the U.S. east coast.
- The beach chairs were few, most were dirty, and several were broken and left laying on the beach. There were only a few cheap plastic tables/stands, and these were snatched up by those who got up at 6:00am to get a chair under an umbrella. The tractor driver who combs the beach in the morning (and that should be done at 6:00am, not when guests are going out to the beach) always ignored the trash on the beach. I found myself picking up other people’s litter just so it wouldn’t spoil my view of the ocean. There was also trash in the flower beds near our building. It seems like the staff have lost their sense of pride about the resort.
I started with only three complaints, but kept thinking of things as I wrote. To shift focus to the positives:
- The resort is one of the prettiest overall I’ve seen anywhere. I don’t mind the walking and all the steps, I like the paths and there are great views everywhere. Traveling through the E building is like walking down a Mediterranean alley, and we like the way the buildings are separated, not lumped in one huge complex. And the landscaping is very nice, lots of canna lilies, pentas, lantanas and other flowers, plus palms and cactus.
- We like the private beach, which has two headlands that keep vendors away and a reef in front that prevents them from landing amphibiously. While snorkeling in the main lagoon is not recommended (nothing to see and people learning to sail Cats), there is a smaller section in front of the spa that’s really fun. You have to be careful, because the reef gets shallow in places and coral will cut you. I went there and I was surrounded by a school of fish. I would recommend you save some bread from breakfast and see if you can get the fish to eat out of your hand.
- Jamaican people, who are relaxed and easy going. It pays to be patient, smile and say “Thank you” and “No problem, mon”. If you are aggressive and impatient you’ll get nowhere.
- The spa is very nice. A massage near the sea will provide you with a memory for a lifetime.
- The pastry chef is very good. Again, lucky there are so many steps to justify that extra dessert.
- The front desk staff was very polite and accommodated all of our requests. We received a room without a balcony, which looked like a mistake by our travel company, not the resort. The staff provided us with alternate accommodations (balcony plus a Jacuzzi) on our second day. While the rooms aren’t the Ritz, remember the homes you saw on the drive to the resort, and you’ll appreciate they are more than adequate. Housekeeping picks flowers every day and will arrange them on your bed. My wife really liked the few times they turned down the sheets and put petals all over the bed.
- I really liked the mineral pool. Swimming in a pool without having the chlorine smell on you and up your nose is for me a rare experience. The hot tub above the mineral pool will bleach your skin, I avoid it. It’s not fair to say the mineral pool is “salty”. It is not even close to seawater. There is a slight tang, but it is after all a mineral pool. Rare for most resorts, you should take a break from the beach to enjoy it.
- The resort is so unique we remembered many of the features from 11 years ago. We did like the feeling of familiarity.
Here are my tips:
- The bartenders will always serve you cheap booze if you don’t specify. You should always instead ask for top shelf brands, the drinks taste a LOT better. I asked for Appleton Special Reserve dark rum in all my beach drinks (mostly frozen rum creations like daiquiris and pina coladas) and Absolut or Tanqueray in my evening drinks. I don’t recommend the margaritas. Most surprisingly in this land of sugar cane and rum, not one bartender had heard of a mojito.
- Get to the beach before 8:30am and put out your towels on your chairs, otherwise you’ll be scrambling to find a seat on the beach. Then go back to your room and get ready for breakfast.
- Always remember to make dinner reservations in the morning the day before you want to dine. You may miss out your first night, but after that you should be eating at Casanova or the other restaurant, the Palazinna.
- Unless the weather looks overcast, always request an outside table. And make your reservation for 6:30pm, so you can grab one of the intimate deuces closest to the ocean.
- I’d recommend the beach grill for lunch, but only to order the jerk chicken or pork. Hamburgers and pizzas are foreign foods Jamaicans are still trying to master. The jerk seasoning is toned down from the five alarm sauce they serve in the local jerk centers, which I appreciated.
- I recommend you try the akeekee cod for breakfast (made with the akeekee fruit), or any other traditional Jamaican cuisine when you see it on the buffet. I also recommend the Oprah cake and coconut drops.
- ALWAYS get a room with a balcony, the bigger the better. Not just because it’s nice to sit there and relax, but because the rooms have that institutional cleanser and musty smell. Opening the doors to the balcony lets more fresh air in, and the room smells better. And always on the second floor or higher.
- If you sit outside for breakfast or lunch at the Palazinna, sit farther away from building B. There’s a grove of trees next to the patio, filled with thieving birds just waiting for you to look away from your plate and dropping aerial bombs near your food. If you do sit outside, don’t leave food unattended.
- Bring a small umbrella; the resort doesn’t have enough for everyone if it rains.
- Bring a small flashlight for when you walk around at night – some of the lights on the steps aren’t the best, you can easily stub your toes.
- Bring lots of small bills, you will be tipping from the moment you get off the plane until you get to the resort, any time you go off the resort, and on the trip back to the airport.
- Unless you enjoy scrambling up slippery rocks while cold water pours all over you, standing in a long line with other tourists that you may have to help/lift over tricky spots, and then run a gauntlet of aggressive vendors while your guide shills for tips, I would avoid the Dunn’s River Falls excursion. But then, I’m funny like that.
- Fine dining options outside the resort are few and far between. I would recommend staying on the resort for meals.
- There are three shopping excursion trips. One to the pier where the cruise ships dock, one to a place called the Taj Mahal, and one to a location known as Gem Palace. If you only take one, take the one that goes to Gem Palace. It puts you close to the center of Ocho Rios, you don’t have to compete with the cruise ship hordes that descend on the pier, and other resorts seem to go to the Taj Mahal area more than the Gem Palace location. It’s the best location for feeling like you are really in Jamaica. The kids pile out of the little minivans/buses from school in their uniforms, you can catch teenagers speaking their fast patois, and the vendors aren’t so aggressive. A few blocks south of Gem palace and you start finding the stores where the Jamaicans shop. No knick knacks, crafts or jewelry, mostly food stores and cheap dives serving Red Stripe beer. Fun to walk around in the day time and feel like you really are in Jamaica.
- Visit the gift shops on the resort only after your arms get tired of lighting matches to burn your cash.
- Get a couples massage at one of the gazebos near the ocean – and upgrade to one hour. My wife recommends the facial and the hot stone massage as well. These cost extra, but are worth it. ALWAYS remember to shower / bathe before your massage. You will be tipping your masseuse.
- Bring your own snorkel equipment. It will be better, and cleaner, than the resort’s equipment. If you want to save money, bring your own mask and snorkel, and borrow the resort’s fins. I also recommend wearing low cut white cotton socks, helps prevent blisters if you are using the resort’s fins or are not used to wearing fins.
- Don’t buy CDs from the groups that provide evening entertainment. The reggae groups were really talented, and I would have purchased a CD, but $10 for a two-song CD that looked like it was burned on a computer seems insulting.
- Vendors on the beach are new since our last visit. Their prices reflect the fact they have no competition and provide you with some convenience.
- If I do return I will specify either building B or building G. I would also specify second floor or higher. For building B, you also want to be on the west side, farther away from the Palazinna restaurant. Avoid the east/south side of building E since it’s closest to the bar and evening entertainment – unless you like music in the evening. Building A is in front of the pool, but is also near the construction entrance, I would avoid it.
Last recommendation: keep in mind that the primary reason you’re at Sans Souci is to relax. In order to enjoy your trip, this may include relaxing some of your expectations. In reading other reviews, I note a trend where newlyweds and younger couples seem to enjoy SS tremendously, as my wife and I did 11 years ago. I think if you’ve never been to an all inclusive resort, and want to experience one that has a beautiful location without a lot of “cheerleaders” running around trying to get you to play drinking games on the beach, then this is the place for you. If you’re an older, more experienced traveler then you should acknowledge you’re not paying the price of a true five star resort and set your expectations accordingly. As for my wife and myself, we still have wonderful memories of our honeymoon and for the most part we enjoyed our last visit, but unless we see a real bargain for SS we’ll be looking to try different islands and resorts and keep SS as our benchmark for a moderate, 3-4 star resort. I hope this review helps.